I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
smell my finger.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
