He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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