he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
