Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
