If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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