Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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