I've blown a few things in my day
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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