69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
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