Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
