My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
