The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
