Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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