did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
