The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize