People with herpes should wear stickers.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
