I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I think I have vodka in my lungs
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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