She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
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