Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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