Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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