So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
