She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Everclear isn't food dammit
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
