dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
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If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
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She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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