I just made out with a guy for $7.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Houston, we have a blender
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
