I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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