$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
