I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
