marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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