glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
