oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
