Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(323): View more from California

Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?

(310): View more from California

You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?

(323): View more from California

So...no?`

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(732): View more from New Jersey

she woke up with a sticky ear

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(520): View more from Arizona

Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.

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(802): View more from Vermont

Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(631): View more from New York

we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility

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(214): View more from Texas

I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now

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(256): View more from Alabama

I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.

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(312): View more from Illinois

Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week

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(555): View more from

I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?

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