Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter