That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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