saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
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I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
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Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is