On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Randomize
