I could make wine with my vomit
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.