Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(205): View more from Alabama

I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?

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(205): I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas? http://tfl.nu/8ynt

Replies (5) Good night (2661) Bad night (580)
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(801): View more from Utah

My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv

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(801): My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv http://tfl.nu/1bcq

Replies (39) Good night (1426) Bad night (4425)
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(956): View more from Texas

What do you think she thinks of us?

(1-956): View more from Texas

I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us

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(956): What do you think she thinks of us? (1-956): I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us http://tfl.nu/ul14

Replies (8) Good night (2303) Bad night (568)
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(817): View more from Texas

you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for

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(817): you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for http://tfl.nu/dk1d

Replies (24) Good night (1270) Bad night (4209)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.

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(203): The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately. http://tfl.nu/h16j

Replies (11) Good night (5700) Bad night (950)
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(510): View more from California

I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college

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(510): I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college http://tfl.nu/imp1

Replies (22) Good night (1436) Bad night (5970)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.

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(203): No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side. http://tfl.nu/0ask

Replies (16) Good night (2712) Bad night (772)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day

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(617): FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day http://tfl.nu/h5lz

Replies (8) Good night (2325) Bad night (627)
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(270): View more from Kentucky

It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."

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(270): It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.." http://tfl.nu/em6p

Replies (5) Good night (4631) Bad night (680)
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(410): View more from Maryland

Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...

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(410): Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend... http://tfl.nu/j7kv

Replies (4) Good night (1041) Bad night (515)
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(214): View more from Texas

MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.

(214): View more from Texas

SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.

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(214): MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME. (214): SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME. http://tfl.nu/sfja

Replies (12) Good night (1117) Bad night (392)
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(702): View more from Nevada

Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'

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(702): Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me' http://tfl.nu/i2h1

Replies (4) Good night (1089) Bad night (350)
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(605): View more from South Dakota

I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties

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(605): I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties http://tfl.nu/3zmr

Replies (4) Good night (700) Bad night (277)
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.

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(306): we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads. http://tfl.nu/m4cs

Replies (1) Good night (925) Bad night (268)
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(630): View more from Illinois

and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby

(1-630): View more from Illinois

Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?

(630): View more from Illinois

only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.

(1-630): View more from Illinois

Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here

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(630): and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby (1-630): Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted? (630): only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby. (1-630): Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here http://tfl.nu/fcdg

Replies (2) Good night (366) Bad night (395)

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