Texts From Last Night

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  (810): View more from Michigan

  oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno

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  (810): oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno http://tfl.nu/xl94
  Replies (7) Good night (1590) Bad night (496)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.

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  (612): On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait. http://tfl.nu/48a7
  Replies (2) Good night (561) Bad night (1737)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  at least we're not in new jersey

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  (612): i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale (401): at least we're not in new jersey http://tfl.nu/f78q
  Replies (59) Good night (788) Bad night (1646)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen

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  (815): I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen http://tfl.nu/dsay
  Replies (27) Good night (2371) Bad night (2305)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.

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  (773): You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker. http://tfl.nu/r3lm
  Replies (18) Good night (4834) Bad night (1108)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked

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  (412): We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked http://tfl.nu/s4j7
  Replies (9) Good night (1852) Bad night (2977)
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  (956): View more from Texas

  found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.

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  (956): found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint. http://tfl.nu/dk3f
  Replies (14) Good night (1449) Bad night (2887)
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.

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  (641): I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob. http://tfl.nu/r7qm
  Replies (9) Good night (693) Bad night (3762)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from

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  (702): the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from http://tfl.nu/ac6d
  Replies (9) Good night (790) Bad night (3214)
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  (707): View more from California

  I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.

  (1-707): View more from California

  Put down the everclear and go to bed.

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  (707): I kinda wanna eat your hands right now. (1-707): Put down the everclear and go to bed. http://tfl.nu/rmaf
  Replies (1) Good night (1801) Bad night (479)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin

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  (765): It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin http://tfl.nu/0j6s
  Replies (3) Good night (841) Bad night (367)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.

  (1-612): View more from Minnesota

  I will rub McFlurries all over you.

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  (612): That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved. (1-612): I will rub McFlurries all over you. http://tfl.nu/lnlf
  Replies (8) Good night (1553) Bad night (555)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...

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  (214): Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable... http://tfl.nu/uugd
  Replies (3) Good night (1231) Bad night (796)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"

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  (954): Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!" http://tfl.nu/vh6t
  Replies (21) Good night (1384) Bad night (555)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!

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  (602): OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED! http://tfl.nu/4r77
  Replies (3) Good night (493) Bad night (163)

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