So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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