did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
