Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
