I would go down on you faster than GM stock
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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