I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
