Im at strip club and am horny
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
