I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
