you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
