for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize