i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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