He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
