the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
