My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
sarcasm needs its own font
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
where are my eyebrows?
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