walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
