i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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