White coat. Heels.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
