your thong is hanging out like whoa
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize