After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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