Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
