Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
