he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
COCAINE IS GR8
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
