Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
