I love black thongs
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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