jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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