In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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