12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize