just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
