Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize
