that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
